Join the US Air Guitar mailing list
* indicates required

 

 

1. Hot Lixx Hulahan - 9,000 points

2. William Ocean - 8,000 points

3. C-Diddy and Rockness Monster - 6,000 points

4. Sonyk Rok and Big Rig - 5,000 points

5. Chuck Mung and Dreamcatcher - 4,000 points

« Air Pollution | Main | How we spend our off days »
Thursday
Apr222010

Colorado: Miles high

DateThursday, April 22, 2010 at 1:41PM

Mean Melin's lovemakin' face.

Shredding to Electric Six's "Gay Bar," the sinewy and damn near translucent THUNDERGLAND snatched the Boulder regional from a second round bursting with veteran talent, including former regional champs DREAMCATCHER, DUKE THRASHINGTON, MAGIC CYCLOPS, and MEAN MELIN.

It took an air off between DREAMCATCHER and THUNDERGLAND to settle things with our all-star panel of Boulder judges, resulting in the packed house recieving the first ever people's choice 60-second "I think I might be gay" award.


His skinny condition is THUNDERGLANDULAR.

The following night, DREAMCATCHER took Denver.

In an interview after the show, I asked the red-eyed Denver champion if he thought his scores benefited from his performing on 4/20.  He answered sharply, "hey man, want some Cheetos?"

From my point of view in the dank and sticky-icky soundbox, I felt Abenaki CAPLICKSTER'S (Justin Caplicki's) first round routine was his strongest in two years although it wasn't entirely recognized by Denver's celebrity judges MATT LaBARGE (proprietor: Sputnik, Lost Lake) and some dude that bartends for him.  But CAPLICKSTER peaked early in the first round and didn't have enough juices left to impregnate judicial faces in round two.  DUKE THRASHINGTON may have been underscored in round two, but DREAMCATCHER went into the second round with a huge point cushion that was unlikely to get beaten by anyone.

LOST HEARTBREAKER was totally in Denver.

Between rounds itinerant recurring celebrity judge, HOT LIXX HULAHAN, was forced to relieve himself in a large can of Fosters.

And then the can went missing for a while before returning to the judge's table empty. Eew.

In Denver MEAN MELIN came in second place once again, and BROCK McROCK'S chops to Cheech and Chong's "Earache My Eye" failed to win over the judges enough to advance to the second round.

Both MELIN (accompanied by the artist called PETER STIFFDICKENS [Nichelos Colby]) and McROCK capped a multi-city tour, following USAG from as far east as Kansas and as yonderously south as Texas (respectively). Somehow, neither competitor managed to take a regional competition, although they each performed as gentlemen and shining beacons of air. Bearing this in mind, and because I need a few more words to extend this sentence far enough to wrap underneath that picture of LOST HEARTBREAKER and whatnot, I wouldn't count either one of them out just yet. Feng Shui accomplished.

PETER STIFFDICKENS post-modernizes his fans.

(Apologies for inexplicable and unresolvable font change.) Much like Björn Türoque's bid for Finland in "Air Guitar Nation," I've heard MEAN MELIN has setup an online fundraiser to get him into the Vegas show on May 28th.  This pleases me.  If I have my way, he and BROCK also need to start saving up for the NY invitational.

In both Boulder and Denver, the right man* won.  

*I use the term loosely.

After the Denver show we all hit up Lost Lake and danced like madpeople while MAGIC CYCLOPS spun the shit outta that place.  Half way through the night using text-to-speech, his computer demanded we "party like there's no tomorrow, motherfuckers. Because there isn't." There was something terrifyingly urgent in that robot's voice and it's been haunting me ever since.

Tonight we're at DANTE'S in Portland.  The pizza is delicious but please stay away from the Fosters.

THUNDERGLAND will join his body type's arch enemy AIREOLA (above) and an all-star cast of performers at the US Nationals.

| | | Comment4 Comments

Reader Comments (4)

No wonder I was so tired!!!! I didn't even know I was in Denver.....it was 4-20...Was I there...Maybe...I can't remember. On a side note I lost my shoes so I had to wear my keens....the best part was before getting judged some guy next to the stage looked at me with the happiest and widest expression ever and said man I have never seen anyone rock a pair of keens like you.....that’s all I needed to hear. Rock on brother’s…… rock on. Oh Tom Petty is cool!

April 23, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lost Heartbreaker

replica watches ukreplica watches uk,replica rolex ukrolex replica,breitling watches uk breitling replica watches,omega watches ukomega replica,Louis Vuitton Bags Louis Vuitton Bags,Laptop Battery Laptop Battery,replica watches replica watches,replica watches for salebest replica watches for sale,laptop batteries laptop batteries,Rolex DateJust,Rolex Day Date,Rolex Daytona,Rolex Submariner,Rolex Air King,Rolex Datejust II,Rolex Day Date II,Rolex Explorer

October 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterANDY

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
All HTML will be escaped. Hyperlinks will be created for URLs automatically.
Alert
I know comment approval sucks, but . . .
Ten thousand Ukrainians with twenty thousand fistfulls of viagra and imitation handbags have flooded the USAG blog with their spam. Unfortunately, all unregistered comments now have to be approved by HQ. Thanks for understanding.

Notify me of follow-up comments via email.